Does Becoming a Mother Always Mean Sacrificing Yourself?

I’m a 22-year-old young mother, who suddenly became a mom and homemaker due to an unexpected pregnancy. The news was truly shocking, and I began to wonder if I had to put my dreams and goals aside to prioritize my new role. I wanted to know if being a mom means I have to give up my identity and desires.

At first, I embraced the role of being a mother with patience and love, cherishing my baby. Every day has been a learning journey, filled with joy, exhaustion, and moments of self-discovery. For example, I’ve learned to cook, gained a deeper understanding of my own mother’s struggles, become more patient, and figured out how to play with my baby.

However, amidst countless sleepless nights and endless diaper changes, I couldn’t help but yearn for a balance between my responsibilities and maintaining my individuality. I wanted to return to work, be financially independent, and travel with friends.

But it’s really not an easy thing to achieve—balancing time and money is tough. When I go back to work or school, who will take care of the baby? Family support is crucial, but I’m also afraid that if it goes on too long, they’ll want their own space. After all, looking after a grandchild isn’t the same as just playing with them; the way they are taught differs too.

Luckily, my husband is very supportive. He told me that if I wanted to return to work, I could try part-time at first and take things slow. He said he understands that staying home all the time can get boring. If I don’t go back to work, I could take some courses or join interest classes while arranging for someone to watch the baby for an hour or two. So, I’m trying to consciously carve out time for my hobbies—learning how to do nails—and even plan to meet friends for a hike to create personal space for myself.

Of course, being a mother is a huge responsibility. I have to ensure my baby receives the best care and love. But that doesn’t mean I have to completely sacrifice my own needs and desires. I’ll keep trying to find a balance, fulfilling both my family duties and my personal aspirations.