"I want to study Visual Arts, but my parents want me to study Business..."

Many teenagers start thinking about this question when they reach Form 3: “What elective subjects should I choose for Form 4?” When everyone is stressed over this decision, it can be even more challenging if your parents add pressure. Should you follow your parents’ advice or stick to your own choices?

It’s understandable that many parents become particularly anxious during their children’s school years, worrying that their kids might fall behind academically, or wondering about the friends they make. Additionally, some parents have high expectations for their children. As the saying goes, “Parents want their sons to become dragons and their daughters to become phoenixes.” Because of this, parents might try to influence their children’s decisions at school. For instance, parents who hope their child will become a doctor might encourage them to choose Biology, while those who want their child to go into business might suggest Economics or Business, Accounting, and Financial Studies (BAFS). Some parents might even discourage their children from choosing subjects like History, Geography, or Visual Arts because they believe these subjects won’t lead to lucrative careers in the future.

If you’re facing this dilemma and don’t know how to express your subject choices to your parents, we suggest that you first think about your future career path. The more detailed your plan, the better, as it will help show your parents that you’re not making decisions lightly but have a long-term plan in mind. This might put them at ease. Next, you can demonstrate your commitment to your chosen subject by participating in related school activities or competitions, reading books on the subject, researching it online, and sharing interesting facts or knowledge about the subject with your parents. After putting in such effort, your parents will likely understand your determination.

"My parents control everything—what I wear, when I go out!"

As we grow up, it’s common for our parents to place a lot of rules and give us advice. Sometimes, we might feel like they’re “controlling too much” or even think they’re “so annoying and getting in the way.” But in reality, these rules come from their concern for us. For example, they might worry that coming home late could be dangerous or that we’re not ready to protect ourselves yet.

As their kids, it’s also our responsibility to help our parents feel at ease. You can start by sharing your thoughts with them and making some promises, like coming home at a specific time to avoid making them worry. If something unexpected happens and you need to stay out late, make sure to call or message them to explain the situation and promise to take care of yourself.

When we show that we’re responsible, our parents are more likely to trust us and gradually ease up on the rules and restrictions.

"My Parents Are Always Busy with Work, But I Want Them to Pay Attention to Me..."

Sometimes, parents might be really busy with their jobs, and it can feel like they don’t have time for you. This can make you feel ignored or even think that they care more about their work than about you. But that’s not really the case.

It’s important to talk to your parents about how you feel. Let them know that you don’t want to feel left out and that you’d like more of their attention. The best way to solve this is by having a calm conversation and being honest about your feelings. You can also discuss ways to spend time together that work with their schedules, like setting aside special times just for family activities, watching TV together every night, or planning family outings.

"My Parents Are Getting a Divorce—What Should I Do?"

In recent years, divorce rates in Hong Kong have been rising. According to the Hong Kong Census and Statistics Department (2021), divorce cases increased from 19,394 (37%) in 2017 to 21,157 (48%) in 2019. Many of these cases happen when the kids are still in school. Divorce can have a big impact on kids, affecting their family life, school, and emotions. Some teens might think that their parents’ divorce is their fault, asking themselves, “Is it because I wasn’t good enough?” or “Are they fighting because I didn’t do well?”

It’s important to understand that parents don’t make the decision to divorce lightly—there are usually many reasons involved. When faced with this situation, it’s normal to feel helpless and sad. It’s also common to struggle with talking to your parents about it, which can lead to feelings of self-blame.

During this tough time, it’s a good idea to talk to a trusted adult, like a teacher, school counselor, or family friend. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can make you feel safer. You can also try talking to your parents or ask if you can have a conversation with them together with someone you trust. This way, everyone can understand each other’s needs better. It might also help to talk to close friends who can support you. Finding a way to express your emotions is important so you can cope better with the changes your family is going through.

"Our Family’s Financial Situation Isn’t Great, So I’m Afraid to Ask for a New Phone…"

It’s understandable that you might feel hesitant to ask your parents for something like a new phone when your family is going through financial difficulties. You might want to help ease the burden by not asking for things that aren’t strictly necessary. One way to contribute is by managing your daily expenses wisely. You can save a portion of your allowance, cut back on unnecessary spending (like buying drinks or snacks), and develop good money habits. This way, you can have some savings for when you need something important or want to buy something without adding to your family’s financial stress.

If you’re thinking about getting a part-time job, choose one with shorter hours or flexible timing, but make sure it won’t interfere with your studies or well-being. Before taking on a job, it’s important to talk it over with your parents. Get their permission and reassure them that you can handle both school and work. If they see that you’re trying to be responsible and help out, they’ll likely feel proud of your efforts.