Sending Private Photos to a Partner

Am I to Be Blamed?

My relationship with my partner has always been great, built on mutual trust and reliance. Sometimes, we would send each other private photos, thinking it was normal and trusting that we would keep them between us.

At that time, I really didn’t think he would share those photos with his friends, and he probably didn’t think his friends would pass them around either. I believed that only the two of us would know about these private things, but I was wrong. When I found out the photos had leaked, my world seemed to collapse. I was utterly shocked and confused. I couldn’t understand why he would do such a thing or how those photos ended up in so many hands. I felt deeply ashamed and embarrassed, and I also worried about how others would view and judge me.

However, what hurt me the most wasn’t that so many people had seen my private photos, but the criticism and blame I received. Some friends called me stupid, saying I should’ve seen it coming, and things like that. I know they were trying to wake me up, but at the same time, their words made me feel even more unhappy and insecure.

Sometimes I ask myself if I was too quick to trust and too impulsive. I feel like I made a huge mistake and regret it deeply, but I’m afraid to report it to the police.

There are many reasons why I don’t want to report it. First, I’m afraid that reporting it will make things even worse and more complicated. I fear that once the police are involved, the issue will be blown up and spread even further. I don’t want to become the subject of gossip; I just want to bury this deep inside me. Second, I’m worried that reporting it will bring even more stress and burden. I feel like I’m already under immense pressure and emotional torment. Adding the process of dealing with the police and legal procedures, I’ve seen in the news that sometimes police circulate cases internally, and I fear I won’t be able to handle it. I don’t want to increase my pain and burden, so I’ve chosen to endure and stay silent.

I know this might not be the best decision, but right now, I need time and space to heal and recover. I need time to accept myself, try not to care about what others think, and learn to handle my private matters more cautiously. But at the same time, this has made me reluctant to trust others easily again, and I’m afraid to start a new relationship. I’m scared that if my future partner finds out about the photos, he won’t be able to accept me and will reject me.

Sometimes I feel like it’s unfair. Why am I the one who has to suffer everything? Why doesn’t anyone criticize the person who leaked the photos? Why don’t they face any consequences? Why do people treat private photos like some sort of favor to be shared around, like peanuts to be laughed at and enjoyed? In fact, I also have his private photos—I could send them around too. But I won’t, because I don’t want to become someone I despise.

I don’t know how long it will take me to recover, and I know those photos will never be completely erased. But I want people to know, you might think I was foolish or naïve, but I shared those photos with my partner out of love and trust. Isn’t that something you’d expect in a relationship? If there’s anyone to blame or criticize, it should be the one who leaked them, not the victim.