"My partner has many restrictions on me. How should I talk to them about it?"

“My girlfriend always checks my phone and doesn’t let me hang out with other girls.” “My boyfriend doesn’t want me to wear tank tops or shorts.”

If you feel unhappy or disrespected by these kinds of control, it’s important to communicate with your partner.

Remember, these restrictions might not always be about concern; sometimes, they can be forms of abuse, where one partner is trying to control or hurt the other, not just physically but also emotionally or mentally. This might involve demanding access to personal messages or trying to control how you dress. For instance, demanding access to phone messages can be a form of emotional blackmail used to make someone feel secure.

It’s important to understand that love should not mean total obedience or control. Respect and understanding are crucial in any relationship. Sometimes, societal expectations about gender roles can worsen these issues, making one partner afraid to speak up.

If you experience relationship abuse, don’t make excuses for your partner. Clearly express your feelings and request respect. Try to work together to find a solution that respects both of you. For example, if a girlfriend checks her boyfriend’s phone out of insecurity, they should discuss why she feels that way and find ways to build trust without invading privacy.

If you’re in a difficult situation or facing abuse, seek advice from trusted people like teachers, counselors, or friends, and consider ending the relationship if needed for your safety.

"I’m in a love triangle, what should I do?"

Feelings of love and affection are beyond our control, whether you’re attracted to someone already in a relationship or have feelings for someone else while in a relationship. What we can control, however, is our actions. Involving yourself in another person’s relationship or trying to maintain two relationships at once can cause harm and isn’t fair to anyone involved.

It’s natural to have feelings for more than one person, but handling them in a respectful way is important. This might mean waiting quietly or ending your current relationship before starting a new one. Prioritize honesty and respect in all your relationships.

"I miss my ex so much and cry every night... Should I try to be friends with them again?"

Breaking up can feel like losing a crucial part of your life, especially for teens. It can lead to a lot of negative emotions that might even affect your schoolwork or job performance. Some people may keep reaching out to their ex because they miss them, while others might ignore their true feelings and try to stay friends with their ex, which can end up hurting them more.

First, it’s important to calm down and process your emotions. Accept that the relationship is over. Try finding new hobbies, hanging out with friends, or distracting yourself to help manage your emotions. It’s also helpful to talk to someone you trust and express your feelings in a healthy way.

Once you’ve managed your emotions, think carefully about whether being friends with your ex is the right choice. If you’re considering it just because you miss them, meeting up might just bring back painful memories. On the other hand, if the breakup was due to differences in values or habits, and you think being friends is a better fit, assess whether you and your ex can handle meeting up without causing further emotional strain.

If you decide not to maintain a friendship with your ex, focus on preparing yourself for a new relationship. Reflect on what you learned from the past relationship, build your self-worth, and establish personal boundaries. Remember, the end of one relationship doesn’t mean everything is lost. Equip yourself and get ready to start fresh.

"I feel like my partner’s attitude is not very mature..."

Everyone has a different idea of what “maturity” means—whether it’s age, managing money, handling relationships, or responding to crises. Maturity in handling situations is just one way to measure it.

If you feel your partner is handling something poorly or you disagree with their approach, try to gently offer your perspective. Let them know you’re concerned about them rather than trying to change them. Offer support when they’re unsure or struggling, and your encouragement can help them improve.

Building maturity takes time and communication. There might be challenges and dead-ends, but there can also be growth and mutual adjustments. Even if your partner seems immature now, remember that maturity develops with age and experience. While your partner might evolve over time, the initial enthusiasm and energy you both shared at the start can remain.